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Wednesday, Apr 23rd

Last updateWed, 23 Apr 2014 7am

You are here: Home Opinion Paula I. Bryant

Extreme weather

Last week, this area went from being in a drought condition to receiving six inches of rain plus two inches of snow, and temperatures ranged from the 30s at night to the high 50s during the day.

Change can be good

After this weekend’s announcement that “big changes” are coming to the 2013 Virginia Cantaloupe Festival, the public is responding, and the Virginia Cantaloupe Festival Committee is promising to react to some of the suggestions.

A job well done

Great teamwork between E-911 dispatchers, Halifax County Sheriff’s Office, Virginia State Police, South Boston Police and Halifax Police resulted in quick arrests of three suspects Saturday morning following a scary home invasion in the Nathalie community.

We’re still here

The predicted dates for world’s end – Y2K, 2011 rapture, 2012 planet-crash and Mayan’s 12-21-12 doomsday -- have all passed, and we’re still here. 

Evil still exists

Some things can never be understood or explained.

12-12-12

It’s not going to happen ever again in our lifetime.

‘Christmas’ forever

For the first time in a very long time, a “Christmas” Forever stamp is available for purchase this holiday season.

The
word Christmas is actually on the stamp along with a beautiful picture
of the Holy Family, and several variations of the “Christmas” Forever stamp are for sale.

When you purchase your Christmas card stamps this year, ask to see the special “Christmas” Forever stamps and help keep Christ in Christmas.

Stamps are going up a penny in January, so remember to stock up on “Christmas” Forever stamps this year, and they’ll be good for many Christmases to come.

 

***

Nick Thomas, whose features and columns have appeared in more than 250 magazines and newspapers, including the Washington Post, LA Times, Chicago Tribune, Boston Globe, San Francisco Chronicle and Christian Science Monitor, penned the following Christmas, Fiscal Cliff humor piece entitled “’Twas the Night Before Fiscal Cliff” which we print here with his permission.

 

‘Twas the Night Before Fiscal Cliff

By Nick Thomas

 

‘Twas the night before Fiscal Cliff, and throughout the land,

Democrats, Republicans were taking a stand.

Their positions unwavering, intractably firm,

With donkey-like stubbornness or entrenched pachyderm.

 

But the public were hopeful all snug in their beds,

With visions of compromise alive in their heads.

“Come on!” said the people in frustrated dismay.

“Abandon this meaningless partisan fray.”

 

When Obama and Boehner finally met,

Their first thoughts were not of a country in debt.

And Obama, the chief, said to Boehner “Oh crap!

I’d rather depart for a nice winter’s nap.”

 

“I know,” sighed Boehner “I’ve plenty to do,

Was planning to take a vacation or two.”

“Never mind,” said the Prez, “we’ll just keep delaying,

Who cares what the grumbling public are saying.”

 

But out in the blogosphere there arose such a clatter,

The people revolted, resolving this matter:

“There’s only one way to deal with such fools

Obama and Boehner must settle by duel.”

 

“No way!” said Obama, “I’m renowned for my peace.

“With a medal of proof on my lounge mantlepiece.”

“I agree” cried Boehner, not eager to battle,

And caught the first plane heading out to Seattle.

 

“Come back,” yelled the people, “we demand this by right,

You’ve had chances to talk, now you settle this fight.”

But the pair, reunited, were far from impressed, 

As the thought of a duel made them rather depressed.

 

As he pondered alternative White House residents,

Obama now saw why we have the vice presidents.

Quick thinking, as always, to Biden he beckoned,

“Get over here Joe, and I’ll make you my second.”

 

“Now Joe I expect you’ll appear around dawn,

To face off with Boehner on the White House’s lawn.”

“Yeah right!” smiled old Joe, “Would love to assist,

I ain’t packing no pistol – what if I missed?”

 

And then, in a twinkling, Obama’s next step,

Was to call up more buddies, to be his next rep. 

“Now Pelosi! Now Clinton! Now Durbin and Reid! 

But all vanished from Washington with notable speed.

 

“Oh dear,” mused Obama, “now what shall I do?”

So he phoned up Boehner for a quick rendezvous.

“My friend, we are beaten, let’s abandon aggression.”

“Agreed,” said the Speaker, “it’s time for concession.”

 

So they sprang into action, both recommending,

Adding some taxes and cutting some spending.

Then I heard them exclaim, “We’ve reached a consensus!

Good-bye Fiscal Cliff, we’ve come to our senses.”

A striking resemblance

I’ve always heard that somewhere in this big old world, everyone has a twin.

Random thoughts

No more Hostess Twinkies

Hostess Brands has upset a lot of locals with the announcement it will be closing the bread store on Hamilton Boulevard in South Boston.