Monday, Jul 28th

Last updateMon, 28 Jul 2014 7am

You are here: Home Opinion Doug Ford Just follow these simple instructions

Just follow these simple instructions

Following is a list of famous last words throughout history:

This will hurt me more than it will hurt you

 Good morning, customer service

 I have nothing more to say

 There is no truth to the allegations in the indictment

 I’m not a crook

 I’ll be back

 Just follow the instructions

Speaking of that last one, that’s what I thought before my neighbor and I labored the entire Saturday to install a ceiling fan in my living room, just follow the instructions.

Simple, right?

Wrong, unless you have the dexterity of an octopus plus all eight of its arms, in addition to having the brain of an MIT graduate.

Remember the lyrics of that old song, “your toe bone connected to your foot bone, your foot bone connected to your heel bone, your heel bone connected to your ankle bone,” etc.

You get the picture. 

I think the easiest thing in the entire process was attaching the fan blades to the brackets that in turn attached them both to the fan motor.

To tell you the truth, it isn’t a one-man job, but a two-man enterprise, and regardless of the available light, it takes tons more illumination to get the job done right.

Imagine holding a flashlight with one hand and trying to line up parts with the other.

I must have dropped at least six screws and washers during the all-day installation period, and when you have to get down on your hands and knees on a dark-colored Karistan rug to find them, it makes things even more challenging.

Fortunately, I recovered all but one washer, and I found that one the next morning, so the task was not compromised.


Think maybe I’ll turn the instruction manual around and read the instructions in English next time.